Saturday, August 14, 2010

Gaming News: Pimps Added to Popular 'World of Warcraft'

It had to happen sooner or later. Early versions of MMORPGs (nerd for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games) such as Ultima Online by Lord British and Everquest both allowed players to be street vendors. Players could establish characters simply to sell or trade items in the game. Answering other in game demands, World of Warcraft by Blizzard is introducing it's newest expansion module...as well as its newest character class.

Break out your Pimp Cups gamers. As early as September, World of Warcraft (WOW) novices and veterans alike will be travelling the new lands of 'The Hoods'. The new Warcraft expansion module, entitled 'The Ghetto Zones' will feature all new terrain including 'the projects' and 'diesel alley.'

Most exciting of all however, is the new Pimp character class. Watch your purse strings warriors! Sure Necromancers can summon awesome demonic pets. But just check out the pets the new Pimp class can summon!

Neville, a ten year veteran of WOW, had this to say about playing the Pimp class in Beta testing...

"I started my Pimp in Diesel Alley. Pimps can be good or evil so I chose to be a good pimp. I spend a lot of time earning experience doing community service. I've given away a lot of basketballs to be level 60. The Pimp class pets are outstanding! Starting at level 4 your Pimp receives his 'Runaway Hustle' spell. Basically, you can gather up stray female NPCs. At level 21 you finally get your 'Summon Streetwalker' spell...which...ROCKS! The graphics are so fantastic that I dont even surf porn anymore. This game really has it ALL now.'

Pimps can wield 'Pimp Cups,' 'Pimp Canes' and 'Pimp Charisma'. Their main melee move is the dreaded 'Bitchslap.'

Pimp Pets include: The Able Runaway. The Burn Out. The Streetwalker. Mommy's Little Secret. Milf Gone Bad. The Porn Queen. And the awesomely powerful ... Bottom Bitch.

Some of the Pimp Abilities include: The Hustle. The Shake Off. Recognize. Dealer Management. Ho Tracking. Pimp Speak. And Protect a Bitch.

While it is possible for players to be 'Hos' in the game, there is at this time no distinct 'Ho' class. Players have to decide whether their character qualifies as a Ho. Pimps can only track NPC Ho's but there is speculation that Blizzard will be allowing players to be Hos in the future. Early beta testers suggested a kind of character toggle similar to a PVP flag. Essentially, if you decide to flag your female Night Elf as a 'Ho' then the Pimps can find her and conscript her into 'service' with their 'Ho Tracking' ability.

It may take a bit of work...but it's likely worth it to the players.

Players may outfit their Pimps with 'bling', hats, suits, canes, cups, gold teeth and unspendable cash wads. As for transportation? The gnomes have been busy...and have created the 'Cadillac'.

"This Pimp class is really exciting," remarks Neville, "I'm finally really getting to do what I want to do in game. I spent all last week just driving around collecting money from my Hos, protecting my pets and periodically using my Bitchslap to keep them in line. There's more to life than a game though...so I've been trying some of this out at my school. I have some real earners there too now!"

WOW.

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