Sunday, June 6, 2010

Life Under a Bus

Now that we live in a somewhat 'civilized' world and that there are societal laws to abide by, I think people are becoming a lot more passive aggressive. If they are jealous, if they are angry, if they want to get the upper hand, then most of them are evolved enough to forego the rocks and clubs...and just drive a fricken bus over someone instead.

Welcome to life under a bus.

Think about how many times your co workers or your supposed 'friends' smiled to your face and then ripped you apart behind your back. Pretty soon, of course, you realize these people arent really your friends. But, often enough, whatever damage is done.

Unfortunately, people are still survival oriented little tree monkeys. People generally believe the first stranger to whisper in their ear so long as that person seems to be looking out for them. Who knows?! That info could be important stuff!

Has this ever happened to me? Oh yeah. If there was never any damage done then it would actually really be kind of entertaining. Listening to your life from the lips of fools is kind of fascinating. I bought a humongous yacht I didnt buy. I had an affair I didnt have. I have an addiction to something or other. I'm Hugh Hefner.

Wham!! Goes the bus! How bizarre. It's a bit disorienting sometimes isnt it? You find yourself thinking...'did I just black out for like fifteen years?'

No one is perfect of course, least of all me. But I ceased all of my real stupidity about 13 years ago when I woke up in a cardiac care unit. I keep count. No. I dont have a humongous yacht. I confess an addiction to the guitar and to work. While I do date (single people do this) I dont have affairs. And unfortunately I'm not Hugh Hefner.

On the other hand, I suppose people could throw me under the bus with stuff that is actually true about me. My favorite show of all time is Xena. I'm not exactly 21 anymore. I'm incredibly boring most of the time, writing, reading, going to movies and chilling with beers and friends on patios. Yup. Bookstores are my friends. And I cook and mow and love all that stuff. Nerd.

Would I recommend me as a friend to someone? Or would I throw myself under the bus? You should ask yourself those questions as well. In my case, I make a loyal friend so yes. Of course, there are a lot of great people out there and I'm an eentsy bit crazy. I do like the Who though. That's something.

I have been in the bar and restaurant business forever. I watched my staff and coworkers like aquarium fish. So and so said this. So and so did that. Most of it is harmless. People need to get things off their little mini buses. Every now and then though its a hit and run. Watching from the outside in...seeing people drive buses over each's almost a sport these days.

I dont like driving buses. I'm more of an ambulance driver, like a social emt. 'Oh you poor thing!' to my girl friends or 'Cmon man...dont sweat it...lets have a beer. You can do better' to the guys.

Buses and Ambulances. It's all the same ol about fear and love right?

I dont really need anyone for me to be me. So I make a point to throw out the bad apples and keep my apple basket fresh. I'd recommend that to anyone. I'm sure one day it will just be me and Surfer Girl looking on at the end of the world. I'd like to think Ill still have some real friends around me then.

My advice is to look both ways when you're crossing and avoid those selfish ego driven runaway bus drivers however you can. Of course, you might have to live in a cave but you might be able to cable it or get satellite or something. I'd at least need a dvd player so I could watch the occasional Xena.

Stay hip cats! And watch your butts!


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