Wednesday, June 9, 2010


All good things must come to an end. Apparently, this is also true for that 20/20 eyesight of mine that I have enjoyed for the greater part of my life. Alas, over the last couple of years or so I have found myself hamstrung by blurriness while I strained to read anything within a foot...or now two, of my pooped peepers.

Today I caved. I wandered in to Eyemasters and had my eyes checked. After completing a prostate exam in the doctor's office, which I found a bit uncomfortable and somewhat suspicious at an eye clinic, I was informed that I am indeed...Farsighted.

I always knew that I was Farsighted. Yes. I am a visionary without the vision. I can see what's coming...without actually seeing anything. And the future is in my hands...because I'm feeling my way around it. I suppose that I'm glad to be Farsighted though. No one can ever accuse me of having 'mouse eyes.' No. I have eagle eyes...if those eyes belong to an eagle that cannot read a line of text without glasses.

I'm too vain to ever really get into the glasses project. Still, the Goddess thinks its time I took yet another step down the ladder so I bought some glasses be worn when needed only...I assure you!

That's probably all of the time, but I'll see if I can blind man's bluff it.

Glasses, it turns out, are really expensive. I had to order mine so I guess I'll be less than cool for a while as I make up for them with whatever is lying around. I found a telescope, some binoculars, a crystal ball and a magnifying glass to work with. Given these options, I am going with discrete...and am duct taping the magnifying glass to my head.

Perhaps the girls will finally realize I'm a reader. More likely though, they'll line up by my side on Saturday nights asking me advice about their boyfriends. I have already perfected my standard boiler plate answer to that...

"He's ok. But he'd look better with glasses."



Anonymous said...

well i'm guessing you'll look very clever and sexy. xo - anne

Freestyle said...

Awww. Just for that I'm sending you a letter mailed with glitter.

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