Sunday, April 18, 2010

Springfield of Dreams

"Is this heaven?"

This was the question that Ray Kinsella's father asked his son in one of my favorite baseball movies of all time, 'Field of Dreams.' I really like that movie, where Kevin Costner hears God talking to him in his cornfield. He follows that voice and rights a good many wrongs. And at the end he finds that he isnt building a baseball field at all, but a bridge...back to his father.

That's great stuff. I always get choked up at the end watching him have a catch with his dad.

Baseball season is back and I'm thinking again about that great American pastime of ours. I remember having a catch or two with my dad as a kid. And I know I've listened now and then for some guidance from above. I'm glad some things are perennial like baseball, fathers and faith.

I dont give much thought to where I'm gonna go when I die, unless there might be a happy hour there; then I might just have to go early so I can get a good seat by my favorite angel. I lean more to the idea that right here and right now is either heaven or hell so I dont really need to go looking for it.

Actually though, we all do seem to go looking for it.

Sometimes, I couldnt make heaven out of hell if I tried. I find myself in a funk or something and start looking for things to prove just how screwed I really am. Like a lot of people, I dont have to look far...mistakes I've made, business issues, lost loves, diets gone wrong, youth in egress. Yeah...lots of hell.

That's my glass is half hell way of looking at things.

On the other hand, I've been pretty good lately at letting go of a lot of things...namely me. Maybe I didnt find the holy grail; maybe I did experience a lot of pain; maybe I do find myself on the outside of normal most of the time...that's me stuff. And why would I care about that? After all, I'm the one living that. Its not cake I've ruined in the oven that everyone was looking forward to or a mailbox I ran over leaving a party one night...

Whenever I watch a baseball game I'm not cheering for me. I'm cheering for my team and I'm happy for the experience. Every now and then I find a new artist to love on youtube or someone to encourage. More and more, I'm glad when things go right for others no matter what's up with myself. I find that I appreciate life more...when I appreciate the lives of others.

Just like in that movie, you cant build the field of dreams for yourself. And when you have built that field and you find someone ask you if this is heaven...then you know for a fact that it is because it is shared. It's like that game of catch.

I may just live in Springfield. But if I can get my head and my heart in the right place most of the time...then it's got some real potential.


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Knockin On Heaven's Door