Friday, April 23, 2010

A Blog.

I've noticed over time that whenever I tell people that I have a personal blogsite, these people tend to snicker, roll their eyes and glare at me...as if to say, "You? Who cares?" I guess that I initially agree with them. After all, traditional blogging seems more than a bit narcissistic. People really only want to pay attention to something that helps them out in some way, educates them, or entertains them.

Take for instance the blog that led to the movie 'Julie and Julia.' It wasnt just some panoramic perspective of some random girl writing about her husband and her fascination with Julia Child. It featured her dynamic exploration of Julia Child's own recipes as Julie labored day after day and dinner after dinner to make them herself.

I'd kind of want to read that. But I settled for watching the movie and just giving the blog an idle glance. That's a lot of reading!

When people give me that 'Who? You?' glare, I usually just dismiss it out of hand because I really dont tend to write anything about what I ever do. Just ask any ex girlfriend who I've had and you'll be informed of how notoriously slippery I am when it comes to myself. Maybe it has something to do with me being a secretive Scorpio. Or maybe its because I dont even like to Karaoke because I consider it grandstanding. No...more often than not I write about whatever comes to mind. Writing is about exploration for me. I like to peek into and prod about those tides of mind and emotion that I drift upon day after day.

People have always pretty much formed their own opinions of me so I generally just play up to that and accent those things they are looking for. It's kind of a game, perhaps a mask, because I am just too private a person to divulge the truths. Besides that, I guess I'm really just not as self centered as people tend to think I am.

I am an escapist. So most of my days blend together in a way. I throw myself into a lot of events and new experiences because I want to see just what might come about. I suppose that means I'm dissatisfied with how things are. That's true of course. While I dont really want for material things, I'm missing the things that really matter.

So if I write a blog...not an article or an observation or something like that, but a 'blog' then I would say I didnt sleep very well last night because I ate too late while I sat up watching 'Lost' that I had saved on my DVR. This act in addition to writing an observation about 'Vajazzling' and working on some of my business stuff kept me out of the dreamworld.

Today I worked some more, ate some Frosted Flakes and went to meet a friend of mine to look at a hot tub I'm buying. Following that, I went to see my dads new van, relaxed with some pizza and 'Bones' on tv and then headed home. Back at home I dodged a couple of calls to go out, spent an hour on the phone helping out a friend of mine and then did some work in my garage. After that, I found my way into my office and worked on some more business stuff.

If you really need to know, I'm having a hell of a time with this one logo I've been working on for like 10 years now. I do dozens of these things but this one has been vexing me for eons. Personally, I'm just glad to have my last project all but done. It was a monster of busy work and item integration. No fun!! Still, my next projects are looming on the burner. Deadlines press and I can almost feel beads of sweat running down the back of my neck.

I cant decide whether or not I want to go to a music festival this weekend or whether I will go to my friend's fashion show. Honestly, I want to do both. My Sicilian friend wants to share some drinks and some stories tonight. I'm looking forward to that so long as he doesnt wink too much at the ladies. I'll be busy winking at the wine selection.

Working in my office, I take my necessary 'guitar breaks'. Im not sure what my neighbors must think when every hour or two they hear chords and melodies of 'The Mighty Quinn', 'Margaritaville', 'Hallelujah', 'Knockin on Heavens Door' or 'Stairway.' Gotta play 'Stairway.' Cmon! At any rate, I play these songs on one of my two guitars. Most often, I practice on my trusty acoustic that I have named, the 'Nagual.' The 'Nagual' has a bunch of feathers on the fretboard and a classic sunburst design. It's named after the Toltec shamans that Castaneda wrote about. That's a long story.

As an aside, my trepidatious friend Casie Lee and I have decided that we will form a duet singing melancholy acoustic selections of Lady Ga Ga, P Diddy, Jason Darulo and the Peas. I cant wait to hear her sing 'Bad Romance' while a strum along listlessly on the 'Nagual.'

Pretty much its all work and no joy lately save for some evenings spent at bars with patios; midnight YouTube tunes; and the mystical union of food, an AM hour, and something on my DVR. Any illusions of a crazy single life of reckless abandon belies the fact that one has to recover at some time from something like that and be responsible.

Yeah. Traditional blogging feels a bit narcissistic to me. It's kind of like twisting and folding a Rubik's puzzle to see if you can make all the little pictures that you have in your mind line up and make sense in some way. And maybe they never do. And maybe they never will.

My friend that just had a baby daughter seems a whole lot more fascinating to me. He's working on that greatest puzzle of all, Fatherhood. Now I'm sure that is something to write about.

Well. At the end of the day, we all have to write about what we know, or at least think we know. I kind of just wander through life learning as I go. So I guess I should just get back to observing and exploring.


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