Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Sour Grapes.

Are we all on some sort of predestined path? All too often I hear people telling me just who I should be with or just where I belong. Its like I should be Colonel Mustard in the Ballroom with the Candlestick...but I'm just not playing Clue.

I've noticed that most people arent satisfied with their own lives. And so they want you to be someone within their control. These people dont like the idea of people that succeed where they have failed or who try when they themselves have given up. It's the old Aesop Fable...'Sour Grapes.'

In all fairness, I must be strong enough to admit to having a case of 'Sour Grapes' myself. For example, I look back at many of my exes in awe at some of the sour grapes they chose instead of me. Ok...that was a joke. Amusing I know. Because that's just 'Sour Grapes' thinking after all. I suppose the only time I can really get angry about any of that is when some other unsatisfied 'Grapes' have been at the root of such disparity...because they themselves had a scorching case of 'Sour Grapes.'

'Sour Grapes' is the hidden destroyer of love, security, happiness and probably somehow puppy dogs. Clinically speaking, and I checked with the CDC for accuracy, 'Sour Grapes' begins with the combination of Insecurity and Ignorance. That's the way it starts at least. As it progresses, the Insecurity gets worse and Anger begins to build into Frustration. In its final stages, 'Sour Grapes' resolves itself to pure Hatred...the kind that finds loathing for something it cannot possibly understand.

I've wondered for a long time if there is any kind of real cure for 'Sour Grapes.' I've hoped that one could at least delay the onset of its symptoms by believing in oneself and by believing in and hoping for the best in others. It's a tall order and a tough pill to swallow for most, because there's always a bit of ego between people, especially when we're usually competing for the same thing ... or the same one.

Make no mistake. 'Sour Grapes' is a killer. It kills dreams. It kills the truth. And, more often than not, it kills the heart of someone good along the way.

What about that predestined path I'm wondering about? Can't we just live our own lives without everyone trying to break us down and take a piece of us? Some illnesses are 'wasting illnesses,' but 'Sour Grapes' is a 'discouraging illness.' People with 'Sour Grapes' tell me all the time that I 'should be...or should do.' Well, I wish I knew most of the time what I should be or should do. Even my own therapist never knew the answer to that one. And why? Because we are all unique. We all live unique lives full of wonders that will never be experienced nor can be understood by all. They are subjective wonders after all.

Beethoven. He certainly wasnt like anyone else. And neither was Napoleon...or St Francis for that matter! But I'm sure that wherever there was greatness in the world...there was a spontaneous outbreak of 'Sour Grapes.'

I'd like a 'Sour Grapes' immunization. I really dont want to be like anyone else I guess. And I think that I'd fail miserably at the attempt. But its fair if its my fault when I fail and not someone in the shadows with a bad case of the 'Grapes' whispering in ears and pointing fingers. After all, we only grow stronger through repetition. Success isnt as good a teacher as failure anyway.

The healing has to start sometime. And if I've lost a loved one to 'Sour Grapes' then Id better identify the symptoms if they start showing in me. No matter how my dream died or who or what had a hand in it, I'd like to believe that Beethoven or Napoleon, St Francis or Einstein, Susan B Anthony or Stanley Livingston would have the well wishing down to a science and a good word to say.

Oh you silly Fox. There is a lot more beauty in the world than a bunch of grapes.


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