Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My Birthday Wish List

It's Groundhog Day again. Once more, I awake to my birthday...all over again. I'm beginning to wonder what it is that I keep doing wrong every year to keep repeating this vicious birthday cycle. Is it possible to avoid birthdays altogether? Or maybe I should just make the best of them all the while attempting to perfect my life to the point of ultimate enlightenment...when I wouldnt need them anymore and I could just sleep in.

Last year was a mess, so I have put together a few new birthday wishes.

1. I think its only right that my chronological age should reflect the age that people believe me to be. It's only a number after all.

2. I want two tickets to Disneyworld and a time machine.

3. There are a lot of people out there who I want to get lives of their own. I guess that qualifies as regifting?

4. I want front row seats at the Who, Led Zeppelin and U2.

5. I ate all of my CurlyWurly bars. I want some more CurlyWurly bars from the UK.

6. I'd like a never ending supply of Diet Coke and Chocolate Milk.

7. I'd like to get a lot more sleep than I do.

8. I really need some contacts, Lasik or something. Although my eyes kind of work like beer goggles after a while.

9. I need the power to be able to descriminate between self obsessed vamps...and women.

10. A pretty girl, a good cigar and a tasty martini...preferably in the same setting.


Or a girl could just jump out of a cake.

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