Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dear God Part 3ish

Yes. It's me again God.

I knew that it was time for me to drop you a line when a friend of mine gave me a ticket to the Budweiser box at the Cardinals game...You know...where the free beer is?...And it Rained Out.

Yeah. You got my attention with that one.

What did I do now? Ok ... wait. I will confess to a few minor infractions.

I have been drinking more than I should lately. My friends and I decided it was a good idea to round up our other friends and start a drinking society. We call it Fight Club. Catchy huh? At any rate I suppose that St Peter can file that one under Debauchery or something.

As far as the Seven Deadlies go...does that qualify as Gluttony or Sloth? Lust is in there somewhere but I think it comes after the first two when everyone is getting a little buzzed.

I have been procrastinating too much too. At least I'm a 'pro' at something! Yes...I've been putting off a lot of necessary work lately, opting to socialize, veg in front of the television and eat random things in my refrigerator. I'm looking more and more like the 'Before' picture. File that one under Just Retribution.

That's about it for the sins. I'm not Darth Vader or anything. Its apparent even to me that most of my sins revolve around food and drink. It's Your world God...and I'm trying to eat it.

So how can we get this all turned around? What will it take for you to put the sun back over the ballpark? Yes, I know that I could still drink beer while we looked out the window waiting out the rain delay. I appreciate that one. But it would have been nice to see a few innings played out ya know? No worries God. I'm not picking...just mentioning.

I have been too self centered to think about the 'World' or the 'Big Picture' lately, so I really dont know what's going on with all that. I hope there is some peace in the middle east by now. I've been keeping my fingers crossed on that one. Maybe I'm just 'letting go and letting God....You...'
Sounds good to me. The world is too big for me to worry about. I'm glad you have that one covered for both of us.

I wont bring up women this time God because its pretty clear that you werent listening to me last time. I will say that if this current trend holds up...then I may just want that rib back. Just saying...

Hey...if Man got 'Woman' for a rib...what can you give me for an organ I dont use all that much? Brainstorm on that one God. My ribs are killing me.

So how is everything in your neck of the heavens? Did the Angels see the new 'Wolverine' movie yet? I think some of them will like it a lot. Well...the ones down here do.

What do you think of my proposal to rename all of the animals? I put some work into that so look it over when you can. Some of the names now are just ridiculous. I actually hate saying Rhinocerous and Platypus. Those names are as bad as body parts. Might as well name it a Rhinegina. Anyway...I threw together some suggestions.

I'm sure you're keeping a full desk. I wanted to chat with you but I know how you hate to text. Voila! A letter! I just hope you find it somewhere in the pile.

Let me know if you want to start a new religion or something. Gotta keep the world on its toes! Right God? Gonna have to make it a 3D movie or something if you want it out there though. These days the masses are into family movies not dusty old tomes. I think Pixar could do it. Call it something like 'God Story.' Hey...that's not bad. Just remember that I thought of it first!

One more request God. How about calorie free Cheetos?? Calorie free Beer?? I know you get a lot of mail about that already but it's always good to have it fresh in mind.

Ok God. Thanks for your time. I'm off to rename some animals and to see if I have a kidney to spare for you to work with.

Sincerely.

No comments:

Copyright 2008-2012. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this blog or its content may be reproduced without the express written permission of the Author.

Knockin On Heaven's Door