Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dis Connected

There you are. You bothered to shave...to shower. You even coiffed that unruly 'do' of yours. You're also out about sixty bucks on the icelandic cod that you just bought for the girl sitting across the table from you. You know the girl right? She's pretty, well dressed....

And she has the manners of an eighth grader whose ritalin prescription just got put on hold.

That's right. She's texting. Instead of putting her cell phone away, out of sheer politeness if nothing else...she simply cannot resist the torrent of attention that is pouring through her cell screen. Her friends are saying hello. Her mother just wants to know she isnt dating a serial killer. And the other five guys on her hot list are jockeying for an early position for her next date.

Of course...she'll be texting you then...when she's sitting across from someone else.

She's a needy sort this girl. She needs to know that she isnt alone...even though she isnt alone. She needs to know that someone likes her...even though someone does. And she needs to know that she has someone else right there with her...even though that someone else is just a sentence on a screen.

This text girl is Linus with her security blanket! When she climbs into her car she will be texting while she's driving. Why bother with silence? Why allow your thoughts to get in the way?

I wonder if Tibetan monks sit around all day texting now. It's the 'New' meditation going round.

"Hey Pandorma! Wtf is up with Lao Rampa? LOL. He is sooooo not enlightened."
"Haha. Yeah. He's using an old razor phone to meditate with. Get with the century already."
"Can you send pictures? My stupid iphone cant send pictures."
"Shhhhh."
"Who's that?"
"TTYL. Lopsang Pa just whacked Lao Rampa with a stick."

Mind you, there is nothing really wrong with texting. After all, its very convenient when you want to avoid real exposure to people. That's the thing isnt it though? If that girl you're eating with is texting then she's avoiding both of you.

She's practically alone!!! I wonder if she's even thought of it that way? Maybe its just safer to be alone than to connect with someone in a world where connections and commitments could get in the way of our idle fascinations and explorations.

It's 2025 and you're on that date again. Only now you're sitting by yourself in a small room with a dim and fading light behind your shoulder...

"Hey...you really look great."
"Thanks. It's a recent picture."
"..."
"hello?"
"..."
"um...?"
"Oh. Sorry. I was just checking my messages."
"Wait. Are you Carl145?"
"Uh...yeah?"
"Wow! I'm Amy146! I've been talking with you all night under both my screen names! I didnt know you were Jay741 AND Carl145."
"Omg. That's Crazy! Are you Cindy225 then?"
"YES!"
"Uh...um. I'm really sorry about having that intimate moment with you. I didnt know the other girl was you too."
"Wait...are you Dave129?"
"No."
"Oh good! Go on..."

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