Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Scariest Ride on Wall Street

It's been a fun year if you like losing massive amounts of money in investments, developments and, of course, the stock market. Personally, I've lost a couple of hundred grand here and there...so if you see it...tell it that I'm not mad at it and that I'll have its favorite snack ready at the table.

I dont have to tell you that the economy, even worldwide, is a nightmare. Somewhere out there Freddy Krueger is laughing in his pinstripe suit...his hand sharp with cross pens. Maybe it's not a Depression...yet. But I would bet that a lot of people are pretty Depressed! The ship is sinking and everyone wants to bail out...even the Government!

I've been watching the Dow plummet again today on my iphone. It's more exciting than any App they sell on iTunes. Yeah...it sure looks like a roller coaster. You might as well put your hands in the air, say a silent prayer and then start screaming.

Everyone is affected by an economy like this. Sure the auto industry is taking some recent hits. That has a lot to do with the Unions. I heard that Santa is having the same trouble up North with the Elves. Those little buggers can no longer qualify for sleigh loans and so they're practically starving on cookies and ice cream. At least Santa paid the Reindeer. But the scuttlebutt is that he took Rudolph and Prancer on a junket to Aspen and that is pissing the Elves off...but good!

People are losing their houses, their cars. And so they are suing other people so that they will lose theirs too! Everyone likes to keep it fair. Companies dont want to pay as much and some of them dont bother paying at all. They just fire everybody.

At the rate that the retail prices are starting to climb in compensation for this mess...I may be paying twenty dollars for a hamburger at McDonalds soon. What's on special? Air. But, we've bottled it and its gonna cost you five bucks.

Maybe we should all just take to hunting and gathering again. I'm sure we could find some big city game. Pets will be a bit nervous...but people have to eat!

No one is certain where the bottom of this economic downturn (freefall) is. Already, it's not looking like I can buy that Russian wife I had my eyes on. Svetlana will be so upset. I might have to settle for a lesser model...maybe something from a smaller country. I could always ask Santa but I think he has his own problems. Mrs Claus was caught shoplifting at Wal Mart. Imagine the embarrassment.

Hold onto your hats...and your wallets boys and girls. It's not over yet!


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