Tuesday, September 2, 2008

May the Greatest Speechwriter Win!



I've been keeping an eye on the elections. Recently, I have been watching the Democratic and now the Republican National Conventions. And I'm beginning to wonder if I might as well just live in the 1940s before television replaced radio's access to the national consciousness.

I hear a lot of empty political promises and rhetoric on both sides in the Conventions. I'm used to that. Everybody is used to that. Essentially, you can dissect the speeches into bluster, fact, innuendo, mudslinging, ....

Bah. Bullshit about says it really. And you can see that people just lap it up.

I'm not taking sides here. I'm just bitching a bit about how much psychology and spin I'm seeing and how little genuine communication. Tonight, watching the Republican Convention for instance, I noticed both the First Lady and the Candidate's wife wearing the same red that Nancy Reagan was famous for. Now girls...

Night after night in both Conventions I've watched the politicians deliver canned speeches full of very carefully selected sound bites. I'm beginning to wonder what these people have to say on their own.

I've noticed that when the Candidates or these polititians are speaking for themselves they seem to put their foot in their mouths a lot of the time. Of course, maybe they're only breaking from the speechwriter's awesome political agendas. Personally, I want to meet that guy...or girl.

On the other hand, I would really like to get to know the real Candidates. What might we hear if the Candidates were forced to take the podium and just have one of Roosevelt's famous 'fireside chats' with the American public? Would we get a better sense of the real person behind the words or are the Candidates already so programmed by their own speechwriters that they would just blather on with the same rhetorical political nonsense as before? I'd like to know.

If the speechwriters are doing most of the heavy work for the big political machines then you dont really even need Candidates do you? You might as well just run the issues as an option set on the internet for the voters. Then the voters could just vote on each issue.

Of course that would take a lot of time. But how much time do the voters waste listening to all of the Bullshit?

I think that we should just run some of our favorite Muppets as Candidates in the election. The Democratic and Republican speechwriters can continue their political track behind the scenes.

Muppets are better Candidates than real human people. They're unbelievably cute. They appeal to children and that gets the mom vote. We can make fun of them and not feel bad for doing it. We already know that someone is controlling them so we dont feel duped. And Muppets can't be assassinated.

Besides, how do you sling mud at a Muppets record? It's a fricken Muppet!!

I guess we would just have to stick with the issues. Maybe the speechwriters could forgo the spin and just do that!

Well, I suppose then that the cutest Muppet would win.


No comments:

Copyright 2008-2012. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this blog or its content may be reproduced without the express written permission of the Author.

Knockin On Heaven's Door