Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Annoying Computer Crashes and Other Things That Generally Annoy Me.

Last night I spent something close to 3 hours trying to figure out just why my HAL 9000 computer had it in for me. Every time I tried to open my browser, HAL just gave me the finger, laughed and spit on my forehead.

And that...annoyed me.

Here are a few things that I find Annoying in addition to computer glitches.

1. It annoys me when girls try to get me to buy them shots. Period. I'm a bartender. I wasnt born yesterday. And I am reminded of that last bit, frequently.

2. I wasnt born yesterday. Shit. I'm about to die.

3. Death...Why is it that we spend our lives improving ourselves and learning so much about the world and then it doesnt matter anymore? Instantly.

4. Religion. Why is it that most people believe such far out stuff and then kill other people for believing far out stuff because it doesnt agree with their own far out stuff? Far out.

5. Cleaning the House. That's about as bad as religion.

6. Rumors. It annoys me that people believe anything they hear first. Check out #4. I couldnt live up to my good press and I'm waaaay too boring for my bad press.

7. Stupid band names. A friend of mine, Drex, mentioned that every band name is made up of a Verb and then a Noun. He suggested naming a band the Verbing Nouns. That's better than a lot of other crappy names I hear out there.

8. Agism, Sexism, Racism and other Isms. Can't we all just get along?

9. Sex. It annoys me that I dont have enough of it. Women! Oops...that's #8.

10. Drive Thru employees. If I could get back all of that damn food that was missing from my order...I could eat free for weeks!

11. Work. I think we should make money playing.

12. People who talk too loudly or use their cell phones in movie theatres. Whatever happened to courtesy? I go to movies to relax, not to daydream about leaping over a row of seats and smacking some meathead with my milk duds.

13. Advertising that tries to psychologically manipulate your emotions or program you. Unless, of course, it's a beer commercial. How can you beat those hot babes and beer!? Wait. See!! Annoying!!

14. Lists.

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