Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The "Want Some?" School of Fighting Arts


Welcome Bitches!

Welcome Students to the 'Want Some?!' School of Fighting Arts! We Masters here at the 'Want Some!?' Dojo will be happy to assist YOU in all of your pugilistic endeavors. Fight Club is for pansies. Anyone who knows anything knows that at some point, sometime...someone is gonna Want Some!

Now listen up! Want Some is a progressive martial art! We may indeed all wake up wanting some...but that doesnt mean we have what it takes to pass it out from the get go.

Got it...Bitches?

READ NO FURTHER IF YOU ARE A PANSY


Our Training...

Let's face it bitches. 'Want Some?' techniques are what seperate the Men of Steel from the pansy wallflowers. Were YOU the spineless coward in high school, sniveling in the hallways as you waited for the Bullys to stuff your lame ass in a locker somewhere?? It WAS you wasnt it! We know everything at 'Want Some?'
We also KNOW that 'YOUR TIME HAS COME!' Unleash your inner Dragon Power! Unleash your inner Tiger Strength! Unleash your inner Marmoset! Unleash the true and dread potential of an honest to goodness ... Unholy Bitch Slap!


Everyone knows about the Belt System. Well, 'Want Some!?' training is no different. Starting from Princess White, you will fight your way through the 'Want Some!?' gauntlet until you are a True and Tested Master of 'Want Some!?'

Yes! We will hone your skills of Whupass and make you into a feared fighting juggernaut.

The Shirt System

Those of you who wear the Belt of the Black Dojo Dragon can qualify to learn the most Awesome of secret martial arts.

Our Masters will teach YOU the arcane knowledge of the far east. You have thus far probably only seen such displays of power in the movies and in moments of blind and mindless rage.

Picture this Bitches...you're at a local bar and you see two men start to fight. One of them looks like he is getting the upper hand as he beats the ever lovin crap out of the other guy. And then...it happens! Right before your very own eyes, the guy that was losing the fight just 'RIPS HIS SHIRT RIGHT OFF! You heard me!!! He rips off his shirt with his BARE HANDS and proceeds to kick the bejeezus pudding out the the guy that was, only moments before, tearing him apart!!!

How can this be!? What is this macabre voodoo spell that makes it possible for a man to just rip off his shirt and transform into a FIGHTING TORNADO MONSTER!!?

It is the power of BU-Sheet. And THIS is the arcane knowledge that we will teach the worthy.

Terrorists will flee from you awesome might!


BU-Sheet

BU-Sheet is the greatest secret of the Far East. Shaolin Monks don't know it! Ninjas can't do it! Bruce Lee was too afraid to teach it to his students (though he was an obvious Master!). Perhaps only the great Chuck Norris practiced BU-Sheet openly. And just who the hell doesnt want to be like Chuck F#$king Norris!!!???

Pansies. That's who.
BU-Sheet is Above the Belt System!! Once you have mastered the Belt of the Black Dojo Dragon you cannot go back!

The 'Want Some?' School of Fighting Arts uses a brand new, and yet ancient, system of martial arts grades. We proudly call it...The T-Shirt System.

Starting at the Pansy Pink T-Shirt, you will progress in your own ability to RIP OFF YOUR SHIRT AT A MOMENTS NOTICE until you too will be able to harness the true and awesome power of our BU-Sheet. One day, you too may RIP OFF the Shirt of a WARRIOR!!!


Our Masters - YOUR Teachers

Bow to your Senseis...Bitches.

Meet Master FREE

Meet Shaolin Joe

Master Free learned the devastating power of 'Want Some?' while high atop the Himalayan mountains. Taught by a brotherhood of masked assassins, Master Free spares NO ONE.

Master Free will teach you EXACTLY how to Open A Can O' Whupass!

While on wild safari, Master Free came across Man VS Wild's Bear Gryll's ... AND KICKED HIS ASS!!!

You had better 'Want Some?'

Shaolin Joe learned to harness and channel his aggression. He will teach you the Subtle Inner Arts of BU-Sheet.
Know the power of Tiger Taunt! Know the might of Ignore! Shaolin Joe is also a master of the ONE FINGER ART!


JUST SOME OF THE MIGHTY BU-Sheet TECHNIQUES!


1. Walk Away Taunting!

2. 'Your Mother!' Taunts!

3. Stand and Stare for Terror!

4. Approach and Chew Gum!

5. Shoving and Pushing 1

6. Shoving and Pushing 2

7. Getting Shoved and Laughing

8. Basic Shirt Tearing

9. Shirt Ripping Like a Master!

In only a Few Short Weeks we at the 'Want Some?' School of Fighting Arts will make a Warrior out of Pansy Pudding! We'll teach you how to Taunt your opponent, Shove your opponent and, of course, we'll teach you how to RIP OFF YOUR SHIRT and beat your opponent to death!

Literally...to death!


We are the Undisputed Heavyweight Masters of BU-Sheet! And we know we can make YOU one too!!


JOIN US TODAY!


YOU JUST GOTTA 'WANT SOME?'



Copyright 2008. Scott Free/Want Some School of Fighting Arts.

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