Monday, August 11, 2008

Too Much To Do!

Don't you hate having 'Too Much to Do?'

I have Too Much to Do.

All I really want is 'Something to Do.' Seriously...no one wants to lie around bored out of their skulls with 'Nothing to Do.' Do You?

What do You have To Do?

Me. It's always Too Much To Do.

Many of my friends, you real ones (and you know who you are), actually call me worried about me knowing that I have Too Much To Do.

"Scott...are you Ok? Do you have Too Much to Do? Speak to me man. Speak to me..."

And I Do.

My real problem is that I'm no damn good at juggling all of this Too Much to Do lately. I'd like to give some of it to someone else...but then they would have 'More Than They Can Handle.' And that would be just 'Too Much to Do ... to them.' That's the Math. That's how it all adds up.

I 'Keep a Tight Schedule.' And I still try my best to 'Make Time' for everything and everyone in my life. I don't really know exactly how to 'Make Time.' I thought the Swiss did that. I know that I got in trouble once in the Third Grade for 'Making Time' with one of the girls in my class. But I thought that we were just 'Passing Time.' Believe me...I would have made more time for her if I could have.

Which...I couldnt since I just dont know how.

Which brings me back to my problem. I have Too Much To Do. Damnit!!

My dating life sucks...And lately I'm just spending more and more time downstairs at Fedora drinking Bloody Mary's. Mary has always been good to me. LOVE HER. And she makes a really fine drink out of vodka and tomato juice.

Why do I do that? What do You do when you have Too Much To Do??

I guess it is a good thing that I am an insomniac...a fact that I am proving by writing this right now. I'm cursed that way. When you are an insomniac like me...you pile all of your stuff on your desk under a palm tree and work on it at 4 in the morning. The pile is getting bigger all of the time. I think most of it is bills but I hate mail so I'm not sure. I have managed to make a small hillock out of last months mail. It looks suspiciously like Devils Tower and i may be heading to meet the aliens soon.

See. Insomnia is not your friend.

Still, it is keeping me active at 2 AM and I am again reminded that I have 'Too Much To Do.'

"Doctor...is it serious?"

"I'm afraid so nurse Peterson."

"Is it....is it...TMTD?"

"TMTD!!! What! Doc!! Tell me the truth Doc!! Let me have it!!"

"Son...I'm sorry. But you have...Too Much To Do. I'm afraid that this is an Emergency and that I'm going to have to 'Lighten Your Load.'"

"Oh dear Goddess. Really? Will it hurt? That sounds like it's going to hurt. My Load hasnt been Lightened in a really long time."

"That's a shame..."

I wonder if I call Kinkos if they can really be my personal Office like they say they can. I'll make busy little bees of my new Kinko's Cronies and they will have 'All They Can Handle.' I'll pay one of them to do all of my dating too because I'm so obviously horrible at it. That way...I can spend more time drinking Mary's vodka concoctions downstairs at Fedora. I call that drink ... Sympathy For the Devil. Clever...I know. But Mary is a nice girl and Tasha knows how to make em chock full of radiant sympathy. And sympathy is in short supply for those unfortunates like myself...with Too Much to Do.

I know...I know. Get busy!! Hey! Wait a second!! Back off!

Really...dont you have Something To Do!?

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