Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Giant Squid and Martinis

The world is weird. There. I said it. Maybe it has been said before. But I really think that whoever said that before me...simply understated it.

Elephants are weird. Look at em. Seriously. They...are...weird.

People always seem to point out the platypus too. It has a duck bill, webbed feet, lays eggs and has two poisonous barbs. Ok. That must have been an Eighth Day creation after the celebrating on the Seventh.

You know what else I think is weird? I think corn is weird. It's a really big plant with really big seeds and people eat the hell out of it and never once think about this big, weird plant. It's corn and it qualifies as weird.

The Universe is weird as all hell. My Hero Carl Sagan helped me to find the beauty in it years ago on Cosmos. Still, I have read the Bible, the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita. I have studied physics and astronomy. I know the works of the Greek Miracle of Socrates, Plato and Aristotle...

And the Universe doesnt make any more sense to me now than it did when I sprang out of the womb into a room of awaiting nurses. And, come to think of it...that was pretty weird too.

Do you notice how we all seem to just adapt to things and get used to what we are frequently exposed to? That's kind of limiting really. We need to wake up and smell the weirdness!

You get up in the morning and go to work or school or just sleep in or whatever. Hell, I dont know what you do. And I dont really care. I have my own stuff to do. Anyway, you go on with your life which is mostly just a matter of carrying out your programming.

How often have you gotten up in the morning and just decided to fly to Paris and have coffee on top of the Eiffel Tower? And why not? Money? Sell your car and go to France...immediately!

If you think that idea is weird, then you should think about how weird it is that most people live life stuck in the 'daily grind' of endless repetition when they are most certainly going to any given moment like a lightning strike.
Speaking of lightning...that actually falls under the cool category. So just let that one go.

Getting back on track, I think that just about every bug and just about everything in the ocean is weird. Can you imagine if bugs were the size of horses? I would freak out!

"My Goddess!! What IS that thing!?"

"Oh that. It's a praying mantis the size of a buick."

"Well it's eating the pizza boy."

Did you know that the Giant Squid really exists? And it's big. Those things can grow to lengths of 75 feet or even more. They wrestle whales that hunt them as a source of food. Oh. They also wrestle the occassional mariner. Did you ever hear of the Kraken? Weird.

Put this into perspective for just a moment if you will. Imagine a pretty blonde girl sitting at a bar and drinking her favorite martini. It would have to be an X-Rated martini that I made because those are so obviously the best ones. At any rate, put a mental picture of this girl sipping on her X-tini and then put a Giant Squid on the barstool next to her.

They are both creatures from the same planet in the same Universe. What's weird to me is that the Giant Squid isnt hitting on her.

History is full of weird things, like the Great Wall of China or the Pyramids of Giza. Who woke up one day and said..."You know what...I think I want to build a 3000 mile wall today" or better yet, "I think we need to pile a few million tons of stone together so I can be buried and remembered."

I would have said, "Really? What the hell did you eat last night before going to bed? Did you drop acid because those strike me as really weird ideas. I think I'm going to go to Paris and have some coffee. You go ahead and get started on that Wall and that Pyramid."

Everywhere you look there is something weird going on. Some people believe in ghosts and some people dont. That goes for God too. What's going on there? Why can't we figure that out or agree on something? Think about how weird it is that you might believe the world or the afterlife to be something completely different than your neighbor does. And you guys watch each others kids on the weekends?

I think the Goddess was tripping when She created the Heavens and the Earth. In fact, I think the First Word spoken was, "Whatever."

Whatever indeed.

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