Sunday, August 10, 2008

Dear God

Ok God. Me again.

First off. I liked Batman a lot. The Joker reminds me of someone we both know.

And I aint sayin who. But isnt there a happy crazy??

Movie trivia aside...I suppose it isnt too much to ask that you dont smite me, or smote me, or whatever me for this email to you anyway.

Here goes...

First of all, I work entirely too much. Today alone I face a daunting 17 hour escapade of laborious slaving away. Yours truly will be cooking cajun food and slinging drinks. What's in it for me!!? Are you buying me lunch or seeing to it that I get free shots!?

Ok. Maybe you are....still.....

Second of all...what Exactly went awry with the whole 'find a nice pretty girl and relax in Maui' plan??? Maybe you didnt get the memo on that one. So far I've managed some pretty...some nice....some pretty nice...
Mostly however God, I've found CRAZY PEOPLE!!!!!!!

Moving on...

The whole getting older and having to die thing....
That's not going so well. I think I'll just have to pass on this one. I know. I know. You were really counting on this. You had your heart set on the whole 'Scotts gonna come visit me in heaven thing.' Really I love ya. But I think I want one more shot to 'find a nice pretty girl and relax in Maui.'

So what do you think so far God? It's you and me baby! People probably think that talking with you this way is irreverant. Funny. I kind of think Not Talking with you is.

On to the little stuff....

Birds are obviously descendants of dinosaurs...and that's cool.
I'm with that.

Wendy's may be a fast food chain. But frankly. It's a bit disturbing.

Gas is WAAAY too damn high God. Seriously, what televangelist can afford a private jet NOW!!!?

I think its high time that all races, creeds, colors, nations and whateverjamacallems just GET ALONG!!!! Everybody is the SAME. Get...a...clue.

If 'you know who' does 'you know what' to me one more time....I'm running with scissors!

Wait. Scratch that. I know what you're upto God!!! Almost had me there!!

I love ya though.

Take care of the bunnies, make rainbows, be especially nice to blonde girls and dont forget about me on my birthday.

Your pal.

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