Thursday, May 15, 2008

Chick Fil A Must Be Destroyed!


It's starting to get warm again people. And that means we have lakes and boats to look forward to. Time to get back into shape!!!
I'm getting prepped to go running every day again and that means no (less) Devil's Food again, no (less) snacks at the movies, no (less) meals after going out drinking, no (less) drinking - which would rule out the meals right away but make life a bit more unbearable - no midnight abductions by aliens bent on making me eat taco bell (just wanted to see if you were paying attention).

At any rate... a new Chick Fil A just opened about a mile down the street from where I live. Is that you God...testing me again!? And right before Spring and Summer?? Oh...the horror.

How can I expect to be boat worthy by summer if I'm gorging on fried chicken sandwiches, slopping down waffle fries and spooning in a half gallon of ice cream and hersheys syrup? It's not gonna happen that's how!!!

So...I have a plan...

I've decided to build a time machine! That's right! ... a 'Time Machine.' And with it I'm going to go back in time to a time before chickens...when there were NO chickens AT ALL. Face it... you cant fry it ... if you dont have it.

The way I figure it...I will use my knowledge of quantum mechanics and particle physics to open a wormhole to approximately the year 2000 BC somewhere in IndoChina (look it up if you dont believe me!). This was the Dawn of the Chicken! I'll put a stop to those Fowl Beasts right then and there!

And that should about do it. All set for summer. =)
I'll even be back in time for dinner...

I'm not having chicken...that's for damn sure.

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